As I prepared to share on this month’s topic, I struggled. Sisterhood has become a favorite buzz word, and I always want to be careful to remain relevant, but truthful. I also want to make sure I provide the proper assessment of what sisterhood should resemble. A lot of general truths come to mind, but often the missing ingredient is God.
For at least four years, I had a secret beef with God. I was upset with our infertility journey. I was angry I had to keep sharing the love of Jesus when I was mad God didn’t answer our prayers.
I love Dr. Tony Robinson and thank God for a conversation she had with me recently. She asked me a question I never thought about “What are you meant to ignite?” I am someone who becomes concerned about everything. With this concern comes the need to fix things. Fix this relationship. Settle this score. Defend the seemingly helpless. God did create me to be concerned, but He did not ask me to do His job.
Our lives are the sum total of what we have experienced. I have been reading about healing from a wounded spirit. As a burden bearer, one that genuinely empathizes with others, there are some areas of my life that need attention. One is my ability to connect with other people.
These are good things; however, I had a hidden issue I was unaware of. I worshipped my knowledge of God. I felt that Sunday school made me an expert on Him. I felt that my private time with God made me stand out as a star. I felt doing things for God such as volunteering, praying, and reading my Bible made me superior. I had no clue that focusing on “my efforts” to build a relationship with God was self-serving.