Last week, I watched The Shack for the first time. I heard from others that it was a good movie, but it would make me cry. If you haven’t seen it, I highly encourage you to. I don’t want to give away the story line, but it helped me to realize places where I didn’t see God as Father.
For at least four years, I had a secret beef with God. I was upset with our infertility journey. I was angry I had to keep sharing the love of Jesus when I was mad God didn’t answer our prayers. I was done with God during a recent crisis that appeared to wipe the joy out of me. I was finished with God. I simply didn’t want to keep experiencing hurt.
Watching the movie, I thought I was over my anger. I wasn’t. As I watched the film I was confronted by own thoughts of God:
- He allows bad things to happen to good people.
- He abandons us in tragedies and doesn’t care!
- He doesn’t care how I feel right now!
- He is cruel!
On and on it went. Unlike the super deniers who say they were never angry or questioned God, I had an ear full for God. He needed to hear me. As the trinity was depicted in the movie, it reminded me that God wasn’t distant as I felt. He has been with me through every celebration and heartache. In fact, every tear I have cried is collected in a vial and recorded (Psalm 56:8).
Sometimes as we present God to others, we get super holy. We only share the highlights of our testimonies such as, “God was faithful and I came through the situation just fine.” We don’t share with others that we had moments of uncertainty. Some days we cried because we didn’t know the outcome. Sometimes we just didn’t want to keep going. Some of us even rattle scriptures (that we barely get) to tell other people to keep going. Yet, we must never forget we need to point people to a relationship with Jesus Christ.
In a relationship, there are moments where we just don’t agree. We have a plan, and the other person has a plan. We might even verbalize this disagreement, but in a mature relationship it doesn’t mean that love has been lost. In this place of tension greater understanding can be developed. I learned it was okay for me to be honest with God and He wouldn’t abandon me.
We must share this with those who are in conflict with God. Those that believe God isn’t concerned about what they are facing. Others who feel that the “man upstairs” is too busy to focus on the affairs on earth. God doesn’t just sit high and look low. He concerns himself with what we are facing.
We have to heal our thoughts of God whether it is anger or feeling He wasn’t there. Why? Our message is more powerful when we present Jesus from a place of who He is and not from our thoughts or disappointments. We need to revisit the shack of our last obstacle. What we will find is that God is ready to walk us through a healing journey so that we can discover His heart. What feelings about God do you need to release? Do you feel He let you down? Do you feel He abandoned you in a difficult place? Come to the arms of Abba and allow Him to confirm His presence.