How many of you can survive without your phones? Let’s face it as much as we need time off the grid we value our conversations. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all need to connect with other people from time to time. Some of us more than others. When we aren’t able to connect, we start to feel lost and disjointed. The same can be said for our need to communicate with other people.
Last week, I shared with you my epiphany about connection and my cell phone. If you haven’t read the article, I encourage you to check it out: Are You Connected in Your Relationships? When I found out that my phone wasn’t charging, and on the brink of losing its charge, I looked at the source of the issue. I could have blamed my phone carrier or even my electrical outlet, but neither was the source of the issue. You have to be plugged in to be empowered. If you have been noticing some disconnection it might be time to check your personal connectivity.
We often look at relationships for what they provide to us. We forget that for any relationship to be its best we must be willing to do the work of connecting. When we find that there’s a lack of charge in our relationships we should look for the cause before assessing blame.
Here are a few areas to assess:
- You lose power over time
Losing power will happen. We are not invincible, and we must take moments to recharge our personal batteries. When we don’t take the time to recharge, we are headed for burnout. Repetitive burnout leads to a lack of power. Losing power may show up as a lack of boundaries or self-care.
- Your ability to communicate is stifled
Have you tried to squeeze out a last-second phrase before your phone goes from 1% to 0%?
Sometimes when you don’t connect quickly enough your phone will automatically shut down. It doesn’t matter how good the conversation was; it’s brought to a screeching halt. The same can be said when we are disconnected in our personal relationships. Not only do we lose power when we are disconnected, but we are also ineffective in our communication.
- You are unable to function well until you become connected
Have you tried in a last-ditch effort to squeeze one more second out of your dead phone? The phone might at least display its welcome screen, but you’ll be unable to reach out to anyone. Likewise, when we become disconnected, we will find it hard to remain connected. We have to ask ourselves why we allowed ourselves to become disconnected. Is frustration, hurt, misunderstanding or something else at the root?
When we make connection everyone else’s responsibility we fall into fatal error. These blind spots can affect our marriages, parenting, friendships, careers, and ministries just to name a few.
When we’re disconnected for too long, we start to feel isolated. Isolation personified speaks in ways that are untruthful. When you have been isolated too long from other people, it can begin to say things such as:
You’re not worthy of a relationship. Look at you!
You can’t keep anyone around you.
You’re a mess! Who wants to do life with you!
It’s better to stay to yourself. No one understands you anyways.
The thing we fear, doing life alone, becomes a reality because we kept building upon what we didn’t want instead of what we needed. If the story ended at disconnection, we would have a reason to cry. However, there is hope! When you assess your connectivity and commit to doing the work a shift will happen.
How will your views change when you are connected?
You will realize that you are valuable of love.
You will realize you have value to offer.
You will realize your words are needed and help others to remain connected.
You will realize there is peace when you confront disruptive patterns.
Your quality of life changes.
Your perspective will change.
You will change.
John 10:10 reminds us, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full” (NIV). We are not enemies of one another, but any void we choose to avoid can be a tool the enemy uses to keep us offended and avoiding relationships, which we need.
If you have found yourself disconnected lately, don’t be afraid to ask why. Is it because you have lost power, your communication is stifled, or you need to be charged? Your response could help you to take another healing step towards recovery in your relationships.