This week, I was honored to interview Enrique Pascal to discuss a topic he and his wife know well: relationships. There were so many points of wisdom to glean from, but he challenged us to take one and apply it. He mentioned to us that it’s essential for couples to learn how to listen to their coach, God. I was drawn to this sports example because it was relatable and reminded me of my experience being a softball wife.
Since Marshall started playing softball, I’ve always been the spirited one. People tease me because I go from quiet and reserved to loud and booming. I can’t play, but I sure feel I have the best view to see how every team member can improve. Marshall would agree that out of every person on the field, I’m more focused on him doing his best. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your spouse’s greatest supporter, but balance comes with all things.
Over time, I’ve had to learn how to use my voice differently and leave room for his coach. Believe it or not, there was a time I was bold enough to tell the coach how to coach! There are times I place myself in time out because I don’t want to deflect his focus to my voice and my views. There’s time and space for conversation, but sometimes it’s not in the heat of the game.
Many times we want to be the coach. We want to tell our spouse what they should do, how they should do it, and when they should do it. We even theorize that if they “only listened to us” they would have better outcomes. We critique when a thoughtful pause is necessary for our spouse to hear. We get defensive and forget that we are on the same team and begin to discredit them. Instead of seeing better outcomes, we usually see the opposite happen. Our spouses become resentful of us because we are making demands, but absent of love. This can cause interference in our relationship when we try to use God with critical jabs. Our spouses may even associate our poor behavior to a disconnected God who is authoritarian, but not gracious.
Whenever we find ourselves trying to be the coach, we must take a step back (or even a timeout). What is God saying in the moment? How does He want us to respond? How does He want us to handle conflict? How does He want us to mature through our relationship? Are we in the way of His master plan?
I’ve been guilty of trying to do God’s job, and it only leads to frustration. I’ve learned (and continue to learn) that it’s crucial for me to listen to God. He knows the best game plan for our family’s success. I want to win in life, and that includes making sure I implement daily the wisdom strategies of God. Not only will this wisdom help you to succeed in marriage, but it’s a strategy that is applicable in our daily lives.
What would happen if we sought God for His plans for our children?
What would happen if we prayed for our co-workers versus criticizing every wrong move they make?
How could we grow if we listened to God before speaking?
How could our ministries have more significant impact if we prayed more and controlled less?
The results are phenomenal, and we can benefit today from choosing to hear God. I want to leave you with the same wisdom I received, “ Are you listening to the Coach?” If not, repent, and get into conversation with God and get prepared to win in your relationships as well.
Question of the Day:
How will you become more intentional in listening to God?