I’ve been addressing wounds that I thought healed. It hasn’t been easy. It’s always a painful process when you experience the initial cuts and are waiting for the healing process to take place. Some wounds are easier to get over and heal from than others.
“I want to hear more about being the strong person.” Don’t you just love it when your friends share what’s on their heart! Before sharing, I want to thank Veronique Clowers for the opportunity to delve deeper into this topic. It has been approximately two years since I’ve met the qualifications of a “strong person.”
Before facing my own pain, I thought it was safe to hide in the pews. I won’t forget the Sunday I had enough with God. As a praise and worship leader, you want people to enjoy service. I had reached a breaking point, and all I could do was cry.
This week I created a not fair list to God. Believe it or not, the list was not my idea. I was staring at a blank sheet of paper and then heard pretty clearly, “Write your list.” For those of you who are wondering if God spoke with a booming voice or with a thunderous sound as in the Ten Commandments movie, He did not.
For at least four years, I had a secret beef with God. I was upset with our infertility journey. I was angry I had to keep sharing the love of Jesus when I was mad God didn’t answer our prayers.
I love Dr. Tony Robinson and thank God for a conversation she had with me recently. She asked me a question I never thought about “What are you meant to ignite?” I am someone who becomes concerned about everything. With this concern comes the need to fix things. Fix this relationship. Settle this score. Defend the seemingly helpless. God did create me to be concerned, but He did not ask me to do His job.