I was looking at my Facebook feed and saw a story about someone who experienced gross trauma. They shared the depths of their experience and then used it as a way to lead into their business proposal. I admire their courage for sharing because they shared some deep moments of pain. At the same time I could not help but wonder, “Has this person done any deeper work to find peace or to be whole?”
As leaders, entrepreneurs and ministry professionals we have mastered our masks. The chief mask we have learned to master is busyness. We attempt to find more charitable organizations to be a part of and serve. We attempt to join one more fraternity or sorority to demonstrate our relatability and dedication to improving the human existence. We participate in multiple church events to prove our devotion to Christ. It is never a bad thing to serve others, but it is dangerous if the reason we are doing it is to mask our pain.
Another job, another title, another achievement will not satisfy your deepest needs. Another “task” to accomplish will not give you another special advantage. In fact (from experience) if you are just doing things for attention and applause, your heart is really not in it. As a familiar song says, “Only what you do for Christ will last.”
What is the solution? You cannot mask your hurts with more tasks. You may, in fact, need to start eliminating some things off of your to-do list. You may need to confront the areas of your life that you have tried to avoid.
Things such as:
- You never felt anyone loved you or valued you growing up.
- You feel like you are never good enough and your work is all you have.
- Someone told you that you were not wanted and you have carried it for years.
I am not sure which one you identify with, but this is not truth. It may be a fact that people have said that you were not valued or wanted. The truth is your life has value and purpose. That is why God made you! This is why performance-based living will never produce the acceptance and love you are looking for. Yes, you will need to face the things you have been trying to run away from. Yet, you do not have to go through this process alone. God has given us his Holy Spirit to assist us in this process. When you do not know how to begin just ask, “Holy Spirit. I am hurting and I need help. Please help me to heal.”
It is time for leaders to heal.
Question to Ponder:
Have you ever masked your pain through busyness?